I was 26 years old and a newlywed, when my husband and I started trying to have a family. I envisioned having a large family. Two girls and a boy to be exact (I mean if I could control it, that’s what I would handpick). The story I painted in my head consisted of chaotic mornings gathering the children to go to school, switching off with my husband to take the kids to soccer practice on the weekends, afternoons with homework and papers spread across the dining room table, and movie nights all piled in our bedroom with three curly headed kiddos snuggling in between us. 

The light, that vision began to get dimmer, and dimmer, and dimmer, as time went on and reality started to settle in that I was experiencing Infertility. 

One year after we started trying, I finally consulted with my OBGYN. She started me off on Clomid. It didn’t work. I was on Clomid for MONTHS, until I realized I needed to take it a step further and seek a Reproductive Endocrinologist.

My RE tested, analyzed, month after month and came short of an explanation for my Infertility.  “Unexplained”, I remember him saying one morning during our WTF appointment when my 6th IUI did not work. 

This would hover over everything for years. I will spare you the details about multiple miscarriages after each IVF, about the depression and emptiness, loss and inability to conceive felt like. Most likely you’ve experienced it, or someone you love has. This story is beyond the process and the debilitating emotional and crippling pain each month with empty arms brought me. Because I did end up with my miracle. IVF #3 was successful. Throughout the process of experiencing Infertility, I actively engaged in therapy. I was a regular participant in an Infertility based group therapy. That was the best gift I could give myself. I started to heal. To regain control, reclaim my power. I was no longer defining myself as “I AM Infertile”, because that is NOT who I am, but rather, “I am experiencing Infertility”. It was empowering to start putting my broken pieces back together. I was this grittier, braver, bolder woman, that despite the brokenness fought to put herself together. 

 

My Infertility journey started in 2009. Unexplained Infertility is my diagnosis. After multiple losses, we were able to conceive in 2015 via IVF #3. and I gave birth in June 2016 to my little rainbow baby.

In 2019, we tried to expand our family and transferred my last 2 frozen embryos. I searched the internet for a transfer dayt-shirt but I couldn’t find anything that looked like my everyday style. So I decided to design my own on my iPad Pro and partnered with a local print shop to make it for me. When that IVF failed, I knew it was time to close the grueling chapter of trying to conceive for the last 10 years, and focus on my mental health and embrace having one child in a society that expects one more.

I started Infertile Tees as a way to heal through creativity, and create goods that tell your story without having to scream it. Unique versatile designs that inspire you to own your journey on your own terms, while knowing you are not alone.

 

Thank you for weaving me into your journey and for supporting my small business.

Love, 

Marilyn